Yesterday I did the unthinkable. I'm not proud of it, but on retrospect, I really had no choice. I had to call my husband for help.
Sundays have become the long training rides I've needed to get my head (and body) in the game for the up-coming bike4kids (http://bike4kids.org). I've made no secret of the fact that I kinda sorta want to climb on that podium again. I took 3rd last year for women, but as I think I mention in every post these days, I was sidelined by a massive accident, now 11 months ago. For me to be ready to even ride this, let alone race it is kinda of a push, but, alas, a girl can dream, no?
So, what happened yesterday...and how did it make its way into my Spinning® coaching today?
My alarm went off at 4:30am...I had to leave my house at 5am (it is dark here at that time) and make my way into town, to meet up with the gang (photo). We're all training for different events and are very supportive of each other.
This week, even better than last week, we saw sections of the road torn up at 38 and 39k/hour. Of course, drafting at this speed is easier than riding at lesser speed - I know that I'm not doing much work when I'm being pulled along by some of these machines I train with, but it is fun - and we were all pretty tickled with the speed we made to our destination - the ferry that takes you from Cambodia to VietNam.
On the way back, though, it became apparent. Our speed was apparently due to a wind that we weren't really aware of...but wow, did we become aware of it on the return trip!
The two strongest guys (on either end of our photo) bulldozed their way through it. The two newer members of our group slogged their way home, facing mechanical problems, which left me in the middle - in no-man's land hardly able to pull above 25k/hour. At one point I stopped and bought a coke. I don't drink coke, as a rule, but felt I needed some sort of rocket fuel...
The sun was blaring down, boring into my skin, I was really depleated and thinking really negatively - like bordering on angry for no real reason at all, just frustrated by my spedometer. I pushed as long as I could...and then I couldn't push any more. I felt like puking. I felt dizzy...I even felt a little cold, oddly enough.
I called my husband to pick me up.
When I checked in with my other riding buddies I confessed my "fail" with a heavy heart. Kind of embarrassing. But the response I got was so great.
To fail is better than to quit. If you give 100 per cent - all you have...everything...when you have nothing left to give - then you have maxed out...reached your limit. Not many people allow themselves to train so hard...to fail is a thing of greatness to be honored. Anyone can quit...but to fail is something special.
Wow...that's exactly what I needed to hear. I really had nothing left to give and I've never had to call for help that way - I felt unsafe...I didn't keep anything in reserve and to have your training pals turn that into a positive really helped me get over my negative feelings about it.
As you look at your Spinning® experiences....do you give all you have to give?
I don't think it is wise to be unsafe in this fasion...but think about the last time you were instructed to do a 30, 60 or even 90 second interval...when the time was up, did you still feel like you had more to give...or did you fail at 29, 55 or 80 seconds?
Just curious....do you quit or do you fail?